Famous gospel singer Donnie McClurkin sang, “we fall down, but we get up.” However, getting back up after a fall is not that simple. It would be awesome if everyone who fell down were able to get back up. Some of you fall and wallow in your pain, misery, and sometimes self-pity. Others of you fall and have difficulty figuring out how to get back up. And still, there are those of you who fall and you bounce back up, bruised and battered, but you are at least up. And there are times when you have to decide whether you fell down because of life’s perils or did someone push you down or knock you down.
Too often, when you fall, others are quickly to state, ‘you need to pull yourself up by your boot straps.’ This statement is inhumane and lacks compassion. If getting back up after a knock down or a fall were as simple as pulling yourself up by some straps, you probably would have used those same boots and the straps to break your fall. In order for you to ‘pick yourself up by your boot straps,’ you would first have to recognize that you have on boots, determine where the straps are located, have straps long enough for you to grasp and hold onto, and have the energy to pull yourself up.
How dare anyone to provide a remedy for how you should get back up and they don’t know the circumstances surrounding your fall. Have they spent time with you before, during, or after your fall? Did they inquire about your emotional, physical, and psychological state after your fall? Did they hold your hand, provide a listening ear, offer a hug, or offer to help you up? If they didn’t engage in any of these actions during or after your fall, why are they offering direction without knowing the circumstances of your fall, and without taking some form of action to help you up and out? Talk is cheap; people need action when they fall! The only time you should look down on anyone who is down, is when you are reaching down to pick him/her up!
A fall that includes loss, devastation, degradation, pain, grief, disappointment, shock, hurt, harm, etc., can often render you incapable of moving at all, let alone getting back up. So often, the perils of life are more like knockdowns, rather than falls. Falls often come with financial, social, emotional, psychological, and/or physical trauma. They are sometimes seen beforehand, but ignored. In many cases, falls come with warnings and are avoidable. Recovery from these perils is not as easy as many might think, because the fall is generally greater than the climb it took for you to get to where you were. And those on the sidelines of criticism and doubt have no idea what you have been through, what you are going through, or how you got to where you are. Often, they haven’t walked in your shoes. As a matter of fact, they have never tried on your shoes, or stood in your shoes.
When you are down and attempting to get up after your fall, it is imperative that you remain focused, keeping your mind, your eyes, and your spirit on rising again, and not on the words and doubts of the naysayers and unbelievers. And if they are not asking what they can do to help you or how they can help you to get up from your fall, along with helping you with your recovery after your fall, you most certainly don’t need them in your corner. As a matter of fact, they are actually not in your corner. Just because you are down, you most certainly don’t need anyone to hold you down or to keep you down.
Knockdowns are even more difficult to recover from. They are usually caused by others and are unexpected. Knockdowns include betrayals, being fired unexpectedly, an unexpected relationship breakup, being a victim of a crime, or suffering from a serious illness. Knockdowns are much more difficult to recover from than falls. The great thing is that although you fall, you can get back up and move forward after a fall.
Marvin Gaye once sang, ‘three things are for sure, death, taxes, and trouble.’ As sure as you are born, and as sure as you live, you will have many falls throughout your life. The problem isn’t so much the falls that you will encounter in life; it’s you having the will and the want to get back up after your falls. Your determination to not lie in your fall, but to find a way to get back up and recover from your fall without regrets, guilt, anger, hatred, and lack of forgiveness is essential. Getting up after a fall means that you must recognize that you have a choice…to either stay down or muster the strength and energy to get back up again.
You are not only the determiner of your current life position; you are also the determiner of your future life position. Once you come to recognize that falls in life are a reality and not a fallacy, you can begin to prepare and build a cushion for your falls. Will your cushions prevent your falls? No! However, your built-in cushions can help brace you for your falls, and put people, situations, and things in place that can break your falls as you tumble. These cushions won’t guarantee a soft landing during each fall, but they can and will help you to bounce back much quicker than if you did not have the cushions.
You must decipher the difference between a knockdown and a fall. As a result, you will be able to deal with them accordingly. And if it’s a knockdown, it’s time for you to decide who pushed you down or knocked you down. And then you have a major decision to make in your life; is this person, situation, or circumstance worth holding onto and keeping in your life…probably not! Falls are expected, but remember that knockdowns are mainly unexpected and they put you in a position to not only be knocked own, but to also be stepped on and held down. Whatever your down position, GET UP!
It is time for you to no longer allow your previous or current falls to prevent you from moving forward in life. You must believe that you can and will get back up. As a matter of fact, you don’t have a choice in getting back up after your life falls. You are strong and powerful, and you are meant to recover from any adversities in your life. You have a direction and a destiny in life, already mapped out for you by God the creator. And as long as you remember who you are and whose you are, you will be fine.
It is time for you to no longer accept your falls or knockdowns as your destiny. As long as you can look up, reach up, and stay prayed up, you CAN get up! Recovery from life’s falls entail you engaging in a process of discovery; discovering how you fell in the first place. It also entails you learning how to clean up the mess made during your fall, as well as the mess that contributed to your fall. Further, in order for you to completely get up, recover from life’s falls, and move forward with your life, you must also begin to gather the lessons learned from your falls.
With every fall, there is a lesson or several lessons for you to learn. Not only must you learn the lessons from your life falls, you must apply them to your life, in order to prevent the same falls from occurring again. And if by chance they do occur again, you will be prepared to not only get back up, you will stand up with your head up, after your falls. Also, remember, there is always the opportunity for you to ask for help and seek help during or after your falls. Mental health therapists are also an option to help you as you are in the midst of your falls, as well as after your falls.
Remember, you are NOT your falls, but you are the result of your strength, power, stamina, determination, and self-love that helped you to get back up and move forward after your falls. You passed the fall tests, now get up, go forward, move up, move forward, and be the testimony about your tests!
©2019; J. Morley Productions, Inc.; P.O. Box 1745; Decatur, GA 30031; (770) 808-6570; www.doctorjoyce.com
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