It has long been a ritual in America and other countries for lovers, almost lovers, want to be lovers, and sometimes used-to-be lovers to profess their feelings for and to one another on Valentine’s Day. These rituals of professing one’s love and affection often include giving something to each other, such as candy, cards, flowers, other gifts, as well as engaging in activities with each other, such as going to dinner, to the movies, other events, and even going on trips. But, hold up! What happened to the other three hundred and sixty four days of the year? What did you do prior to Valentine’s Day and what do you plan to do after Valentine’s Day to profess your love and affection o the person who captures the eye of your affection?
Many of you have often used the mythical character Cupid as the symbol of showing your erotic love, affection, and desire for another. Valentine’s Day seems to be the most exclusive day when you are given permission to once again, like Cupid, draw back your bow and let your arrow fly. Many of you spend a lot of time wondering when and if you will be on the receiving end of someone’s love arrow, or if you will send your own love arrow. Some of you, because you are trying to love more than two people (which is a challenge), are also trying to figure out to whom you will be aiming your love arrow.
Whether you are sending or receiving a love arrow for Valentine's Day, or any other day of the year, it is important for you to remember that love should be a two-way process. And if it isn't, you might begin to assess the situation you're in, and the person with whom you are in the situation. In all actuality, you might want to spend some introspective time engaging in an assessment of whether you are in a situation or a relationship.
On the other hand, a relationship means that you will share your erotic love, affection, and desires for another for more than one day of the year. In other words, in a true relationship, you will commit for the long haul, in a relationship of choice and not a situation of convenience.
I hope that you are not aiming your love arrow toward someone with whom you only expect to engage in a situation, because a situation is only a temporary state. A situation is not usually a reciprocated process. It will soon end, because you will not invest in it the way you invest in a relationship.
Like many others, in a situation, you forget that the same things it took to get your mate, it will take the same things for you to keep him/her. Remember those rituals you used to get him/her? They don’t matter in situations. However, they are essential in maintaining a healthy and positive relationship.
The reality is that many of you have forgotten the rituals you engaged in when you were shooting your Cupid arrow toward your mate. The small gestures of love, affection, and desire that you used to shower your mate when you were on the chase to get him/her must remain throughout time, if you want to keep him/her. And in some cases, you must engage in them more often.
If you aren’t careful to ensure that you are constantly placing love logs on the love fires of your relationship, you might find yourself alone. That love you thought you found on a two-way street will be lost on a lonely highway! As a fire must have more logs added to keep it burning, your relationship also needs love logs in the form of healthy and positive rituals consistently added to it, in order to keep the romance growing.
Love is action and not an announcement or a pronouncement! In order to keep your love flowing, and to keep your relationship moving forward and going stronger, you must take action on a daily basis to not only tell your mate how you feel about him/her, but to also take action to show him/her how you feel. It really doesn’t take that much. You did it when you engaged in the chase, now decide to continue it after the chase is over!
And in all actuality, when it comes to true love, you don't have to make grand entrances, have firework displays everyday, buy enormous and expensive gifts, travel the world, or become a poet laureate in order to increase the level of romance and love in your relationship. However, you must continue to do something positive and affectionate, no matter how small. It is the small, cutesy, funny, surprising, different, challenging, luring, and enticing things with which you started the relationship that will keep it going.
There are many small love rituals that you can engage in on a daily basis in order to increase the romance and love in your relationship. Increasing your romance and increasing your love strengthens and extends your relationship. There are specific love rituals that you can use to ensure that the fire within your relationship continues to burn hot. It is important to remember that you cannot wait until you only have embers left before you add additional logs in order to stoke the fire. You have to keep adding love logs while the love is still burning bright and hot. What’s love got to do with it? EVERYTHING, especially when you remember that love is ACTION and NOT a STATEMENT!
Here are a few small rituals that you can engage in in order to keep the fire in your relationship burning healthy and hot! And don’t be shy; steam only means that your love fire is still burning!
- Take time on a regular basis to go down memory lane rekindling how you all first met.
- Make it a regular ritual to celebrate the anniversary of your first date. If the venue STILL exists, revisit it.
- Revisit the places you all frequented when the chase was taking place--the restaurant, movie, theater, or dance hall.
- Sit together in a comfortable place (the couch, the floor) and look at photos of exciting times, and places that you and your mate spent together, such as your first date.
- Celebrate your first lovemaking experience together. You can talk about it and recreate it as often as possible.
- Reminisce with each other as to what and why you fell in love with each other.
- Laugh together on a daily basis. Even when things might be tough, one of you has to take responsibility for keeping laughter in the relationship. It’s okay to joke in moderation.
- Get up with a kiss, and go to bed with a kiss for and with each other.
- Develop a handwritten note at least once a month, which documents the most positive characteristics that you STILL find in your mate. Frame it and post it in a conspicuous location for your mate to see on a daily basis (living room or bedroom), reminding him/her how you STILL feel.
- Develop a “Five Wonderful Things I Love About Being with You” list, every six months and present it to your mate, over dinner, at breakfast, or just while relaxing together. Can you repeat the things you share? Yes you can. But, as your relationship progresses and grows, you should find more and more new things that you love about being with your mate, to share with him/her.
- Take a relationship checkup every six months. Write out what each wants to do and is willing to do to make each other’s lovemaking experience a day/night of fireworks. Present it to your mate. Evaluate your role in making the sparks continue to fly and don’t be afraid to see room for improvement.
- Develop handmade cards for each other for birthdays, anniversaries, and other special occasions that express your feelings for each other. This will show your mate how much personal time you are willing to invest and sacrifice for him/her in order to keep the love fire burning.
- Write a monthly pledge stating what you are willing to do for and with each other over the next six months in order to make your relationship even stronger. Share it with each other and take time each month to ensure that you are actually doing what you said you are willing to do.
- Engage in sharing a loving touch each and every day to help your love to stay.
- Establish a weekly date night that you all engage in each and every week. It can take place at home or outside of the home. Go dancing, to dinner, or get a massage. And if there are children, use the services of a friend, family member, or a babysitter to help while you and your mate enjoy each other. Nothing or no one should interfere with that date night.
- Pray together each and every morning before leaving home and each and every night before going to bed and.
- Learn how to say I love you, even when you don’t feel like saying it. Say it and show it!
- Learn to thank God on a daily basis for being blessed with having your mate in your life! Expressing gratefulness and gratitude to God opens doors for you to appreciate each other even more.
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