Relationships come and relationships go. However, if you want your relationships to not only come, but you also want them to stay and not go away, you must recognize the importance of engaging in happy, positive, and healthy relationship activities from the onset. It is important to remember that the way you start your relationships will not only determine the direction they take, but, also their destiny.
On many occasions you have sought to find that one man or woman who could ‘make you happy.’ In reality, no one can ‘make you happy!!’ Happiness is an internal state. If you are not already equipped with internal happiness (which we are all afforded), you will not find happiness or discover happiness in or with anyone or anything outside of yourself. If you want happiness in your relationships, bring it with you when you enter into your relationships; don’t go looking for it…you will probably be disappointed!
Those engaged in happy relationships will also have healthy relationships. They will have no secrets about what makes their relationships happy and healthy; it will be evident at all times and in everything that they do. You CANhave happy and healthy relationships and the ingredients won’t be a secret! If the keys to having these types of relationships are a secret, it means that you are probably not engaged in a relationship that is happy or healthy. As a matter of fact, you are probably engaged in a situation and not a relationship!!
Your happy and healthy relationships allow you to readily identify the ‘ingredients’ necessary for such relationships to exist and not see them as ‘secrets.’ Why would you want to keep the ingredients to your wonderful relationship a secret? Happiness and healthiness in your relationships breed confidence and boldness.
Remember, a happy and healthy relationship doesn’t mean that it is a perfect relationship. As long as God is blessing, the devil will also come messing! There will be trials and tribulations, but happiness and healthiness will help you and your partner to withstand the attacks.
Ingredients for Happy & Healthy Relationships That Are Not Secrets
1. Bring your own internal happiness to the relationship. No one can make you happy!
2. Define what happiness is for you. You and your partner should have a conversation about your individual contributions and expectations for maintaining happiness and healthiness in your relationship.
3. You and your partner must at least be in the same book and the same chapter with each other, even if the two of you are not on the same page.
4. You and your partner must have a relationship agenda, including short and long-term relationship goals.
5. It’s important to listen and attend to each other; body language is essential! You both cannot speak at the same time; someone has to listen while the other speaks.
6. There must be mutual respect and positive regard for each other.
7. The only names you and your partner should use for each other are the name given at birth or pet names approved by and for each other.
8. Physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, and/or economic abuse and/or misuse are NEVER acceptable!!
9. You must have a sense of humor, living and laughing some…EVERYDAY!
10.Get to know each other better.
11.Take time each and EVERY DAYto touch each other with a kiss and/or a hug.
12.Stop trying to change each other! Your partner and your relationship should be an asset, not a liability!
13.Find various ways to be intimate with your partner, other than sex.
14.Don’t be selfish; share your time, talents, and other positive characteristics with your partner.
15.Remember that the same thing it took to get your partner, will take the same thing to keep him/her.
16.Chivalry is not dead; she still likes and needs to have her chair pulled out and doors opened.
17.Don’t be afraid to do something special for each other. He still likes to be surprised with his favorite meal.
18.Have a standing date night that nothing or no one will/can hinder.
19.Be willing to share in social and other interests with your partner.
20.Have a day just for yourself. Take time to rejuvenate alone, so that you will have more quality time with each other.
21.COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, and COMMUNICATE! Effective, positive, and healthy communication is essential! Your relationship is a collaboration; not a competition! You can never communicate too much
22.Compliment each other on a daily basis.
23.Engage in periodic relationship checkups.
24.Practice forgiving and forgetting; learn to let go!
25.Pray individually and as a couple.
Each relationship you engage in should be filled with happiness, healthiness, and wholeness! GO FOR THE GUSTO!!!
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