I’m Not Your Enemy; I’m Your Sister

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers, whether biological or surrogate! If you have fed a child or an adult, supported a child or an adult, housed a child or an adult, and if you have loved a child or an adult the way you love yourself, you most certainly have earned the label of being called mother. After all, this label is a term of endearment afforded many women!

God most certainly knew what he was doing when he decided that his creations would not be complete without him creating a woman. God decided that women were an important entity, designating completion. If you could only behold yourself in the same vein as the creator, you would come to behold your greatness, your power, your boldness, and your beauty as women.

Unfortunately, as women, too many of you have not come to behold or have been too afraid to behold yourselves as the creator designed you. Many of you are too concerned about how others see you, allowing who you are and whose you are to be defined by men, friends, and society as a whole. It’s amazing that as women, you are willing to pay a high price for your designer shoes, designer handbags, designer clothing, as well as other designer items, but you are not willing to put a high price on some of the greatest designs ever created…you and other women.   

Society places its enormous and sometimes overbearing and guilt-ridden burdens on women to be ‘perfect.’ What usually happens is that as women, you become so caught up in the hype that you fall for the labels, the beliefs, the expectations, and the other myths placed on you by men and other women. You become competitive; sometimes competitive with yourselves, and too often even more competitive with other women. The reality is that womanhood is not an isolated event; it is a comprehensive and collaborative process. It takes many women working together, in order for you to succeed in fulfilling your awesome, God-given role in life.

There should be no competition between women. You have enough to compete with in society, without competing with each other and shutting each other out. Sadly, you have to fight your way into and through relationships, especially those of gaining and maintaining your rightful place in a sea of ‘privileged’ men, who tend to disrespect, misuse and abuse women. And then there are the disparities you have to fight against in the workplace and in society as a whole.

As women, it’s the relationship that you have with each other, that empowers you to be the greatest and most powerful beings created. This greatness is not related to being a ‘perfect’ woman, as much as it is being a great woman, walking in your own shadow, while allowing the company, companionship, and compassion sharing of and with other women, as you strive to walk in the destiny God has appointed you to walk.

Can you imagine a world without women? Some of you probably can, but the reality is that there was a reason God created both sexes. If you can imagine a world without either of the sexes, you are imagining a world without YOU! Your mom and your dad contributed to the awesome wonder of creating YOU! Singer James Brown once sang “This is a man’s world, but it be nothing without a woman or a girl.” Mr. Brown saw your essence as a woman; when will you see it, behold it, and walk in it?

As women, you are each endowed with a designation by the creator, which symbolizes total completion. As a result, you should be closer to other women in spirit and in truth. You can look at other women and see a design meticulously developed, because it is one that mirrors you. Hence, you should see your fellow women as your spiritual sisters. However, because too many of you are so insecure with yourselves, you are even more heightened in your levels of insecurity with other women, especially those that do not look like you and are not as economically powerful as you.

One of the things that women must come to recognize is that no mater how much you dislike other women, they are basically your only hope in standing in the gap when so many men have joined the guy in the white house, encouraging disrespect, and xenophobia for women. Men know how to stick together, but somehow, many of you as women believe that you must forsake your women friends, your biological sisters, and your mother, especially when you are entertained by a man. Further, many of you have been complicit in the mistreatment, maltreatment, and disrespect of your women friends by men and other women. However, you must realize that the average woman in your life is not your enemy; she is your sister!

With the disrespect, mistreatment, and maltreatment of women, a very dangerous precedence has been established. It is time to realize that this is not the time for you, as women to turn your backs on each other or away from each other. It is time for you to recognize the collective strength that you all possess when standing together, link to link. It is time for each of you to stand up and speak up for yourselves and other women. After all, they are not your enemies; they are your sisters!

As a woman, you might have biological sisters, but there are still many other women who have stood in the gap and many more who are still standing in the gap for and with you. Your first true relationship starts with your mother and with your biological sisters. And if you did not or still do not have a relationship with your mother or with your biological sisters and other women within your family, it is going to be difficult for you to have formidable, positive, and long-term relationships with other women.

As a matter of fact, your relationship with the women in your life will also have an impact o your relationships with the men who have attempted to enter into your life. Because of your unrecognized and deniable levels of self-hatred, you have projected this volatile attitude onto the women in your life. You have polarized yourself when it comes to other women. But, guess what? Your mother might not be as bad as you think she is, and your sisters could possibly be tolerated if you gave them a chance.

Have you looked at your role in the situation that has caused a rift between you and your mother? What about the relationship with your biological sisters? What role have you played in the disconnection and angst toward your sisters? Until you are willing to recognize, confront, and admit your role in the dissention with the women in your life, it will be hard for you to connect with the women who are connected by membership and friendships.

It is time for you to recognize that every woman isn’t trying to be like you, be you, is not out to get you, take from you, or take advantage of you. There are many women who love themselves and see themselves in the image of God, recognizing that you or no one else can take anything from them or prohibit them from reaching their destination and full potential in life. They truly want to reach out to you and invite you in. These women can proudly say, ‘I’m not your enemy, I’m your sister!”     

As women, you must also come to understand the links in the chain that connect each of you. The links that exist between women are not just outer links; they are inner, spiritual connections that permeate the very being of who each of you are and what you stand for as women. This chain link started in your mother’s womb. How dare you to not speak to or with your mother! She’s not your enemy; she’s your sister!

It is time for you, as women, to stop shutting other women out of your lives, to stop blocking your blessings, to stop teaching your daughters and modeling for them that other women are the enemies. If you are true friends with other women, it doesn't mean that you ‘dis’ them when you get with a man. It doesn’t mean that you stop speaking to them when they give you positive and constructive feedback. It doesn’t mean that you curse them and start a vendetta against them when they try to help direct you in rearing your children. And it doesn’t mean that you show envy, malice, or spread gossip and rumors against the women around you, when you no longer see their worth or value in your life. However, it does mean that when you have a TRUE female friend, you recognize and treasure her for who she truly is to you and for you. It means that you stand for her and with her, seeing and beholding the designer aspect of her, all because of your own unique design. It’s simply recognizing the benefits of the women it your life, as well as recognizing the fact that they don’t all serve in the role of enemy; many of them are your sisters.

I do recognize that there are some women who don’t have your best interest in mind. They are all about self and what you can do for them, at your expense. As a matter of fact, I have met some of these women. These are the women who perpetrate a fraud, all because they have no real self-identity and they begrudge other women who have an identity. These are the women I will not allow to call me ‘Sister.” If I had a sister like then, I would deny them, decry them, and defy them. Thank goodness, these are the women who are exceptions, rather than the norm.

There is good news! There are many more women who are not your enemies; they are truly your sisters! When you have them in your life, treat them as precious gems, nurture the relationship and hold onto them as long as you can.

Starting today, in honor of Mother’s Day, which should be three-hundred and sixty-five days a year, it is time for you, as women, to rid yourselves of the dissention, contention, apprehension, pretension, and resentment toward other women. Because they choose to operate in wrong, it doesn’t mean you have to join them. It’s time for you to recognize your full value, your full worth, your full potential, as well as your rightful position as a woman in the world, without competing with other women.

It is you striving to reach your destiny as you harmoniously work together with other women to bring forth the next generation of girls into womanhood, along with an interconnectedness for women walking together and supporting each other in meeting their destinies, without fear of each other, without sacrificing each other, or betraying each other, all because you are no longer enemies but sisters.

As a woman, in order for you and other women to recognize your strength and the design afforded you by God the creator, each of you must once again stand on your principles, recognize and stand on your priorities, recognize, stand, and walk in your purpose, stand and walk in your pride, without allowing it to block your path, as you stand and walk in your peace. As long as each of you bold, proud, beautiful, brilliant, and aspiring women stand in the presence and on the promises of God, you will have your peace, your priorities, your principles, and fully walk in your purpose. You will also recognize that the women in your life all aren’t trying to be your enemy, many just want to be your sister!   

It is time for women and men alike, to recognize, respect, and accept the necessity for women to work together, stand together and speak together as collaborative forces, without envy, malice, jealousy, or competition with each other. Women, one of you is not as great as all of you! The reality is, ‘She’s probably not your enemy, she is your sister…let her in!’

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