There is most certainly nothing wrong with giving, caring, and sharing to and with others. However, at some point, there comes a time for someone to give to you, share with you, and care about you. And I am sure that on many occasions it seems as if you give more than you receive. I consider giving an act of planting seeds for you to eventually receive your harvest of a lifetime.
The problem isn’t that you are continuously giving of yourself; it is the fact that on too many occasions you don't seem to know when to establish clear and consistent boundaries related to your giving. You continuously give of your heart, mind, body, and soul, and you sometimes give of your time, talents, and treasures, so much so that you seem to give out, becoming an empty vessel with nothing left for you. And I am also sure that many times you feel used. But guess what? God placed you here to be used. The problem isn’t that you are being used; it is when you allow yourself to be used up or when you allow yourself to be misused.
There are also times when you have felt like a fool for allowing loved ones to misuse you; especially your mate, your children, and other family members. You allow them to get away with behaviors that you would probably never allow anyone else to get away with. They constantly take advantage of your kindness and see you and your kindness as a weakness. They trample on your feelings and your heart, while wreaking havoc in your mind and in your life. But it doesn’t seem to matter, even though you are burdened with hurt and grief. As a result, you often feel confused, but deep down inside, you know that it is time for you to stop the mess and let go of the stress, in order for you to be free to be you, without limitations, chains, shackles, pain, and hurt, as you make a decision to stop being a fool.
The bottom line is that it is time for you to stop allowing others to make a fool out of you. But on the other hand, it is time for you to decide to stop being a fool. Yes, a song once shared the lyrics, “Everybody plays the fool sometime; there is no exception to the rule.” But do you have to play the fool or be a fool all the time? When will you become an exception to the so-called rule? When do you start calling a spade a spade and stop allowing loved ones or others to keep pissing on your head, while they tell you it’s rain? When do you put a time limit on moving past the engagement that you entered into with your mate, which has existed for years, without a ring on your finger, and no wedding date in sight? Why should he buy the cow when he can get the milk free?
When do you decide to stop being the bank for people who never pay you the ‘borrowed’ money back? When do you stop allowing your children to talk to you any kind of way, and you are still feeding them and paying their way? When do you stop being afraid of and being a fool for your grown children, who live in your house, won’t work, can’t and won’t pay bills, and won’t cut the grass or do anything to help you? And how about your so-called lover, boyfriend or girlfriend, who claims you in the dark, but denies you in the light? Yes, when will you finally stop being a fool?
You might not be a superstar, millionaire, or have a house on the hill, but you still don’t have to be a fool! At some point you will come to recognize your self-worth, your value, and your overall status as a VIP-very important person. Being a very important person has nothing to do with your outside as much as it has to do with your inside. When you value you, respect you, and accept you, you will find that others will do the same. If you keep expecting and accepting less from others, they will continue to give you less or give you nothing at all. It’s amazing that although you expect less and accept less, others look to you to gain all that they can from you, even if it leaves you as an empty vessel.
There are many of you who are afraid to take a stand and a stance and say to your loved ones and so-called friends that you have decided to no longer live on “Fool’s Row” with them, especially if you are playing the role of the fool. Further, you have to let people around you know that you will no longer live or travel down “Insanity Lane,” expecting different results as you engage in the same foolish behaviors. How many times do I have to keep repeating that, ‘people don’t change!’ If she treated you like crap once or twice, she will treat you like crap again. As long as you give her permission to do so and you keep sitting as if you are a toilet bowl, you will continue to receive the ‘Fool Award’ of the year.
You will find that you will feel much better when you stop serving as the doormat, light switch, and doorknob for loved ones and so-called friends. If you believe you have to put on a show and forsake who you are in order to receive love and recognition from others, you are truly a fool. It’s not only time for you to wake up; it’s time for you to wise up, open up, rise up, and speak up! Take a stand and a stance for YOU! And if others can’t or won’t deal with you after you have surrendered your “Fool’s Card,” it’s their problem, and not yours!
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