The holiday season is supposed to be a
time of love, merriment, good cheer, good tidings, sharing, giving, and above
all compassion. It is one of my most favorite times of the year. The colorful
decorations, the bright Christmas lights, the Christmas carolers, the holiday parties,
the hustle and bustle of shopping, along with the beautifully wrapped gifts,
all help to brighten spirits and lighten moods.
All of the above sounds great, as long as
nothing or no one interferes with the sense of utopia! Does the Grinch really exist? Does he just
lurk around to spoil your holiday season with his unexpected and unwanted
antics? Unfortunately the Grinch doesn’t just exist during the holiday season;
he throws a wrench into your life three hundred and sixty-five day of the year.
He playa hates and seeks to make your
life downright miserable.
For many of you, the holiday season brings
back memories of loss and loneliness. And for many more of you, it is a time of
let downs and disappointments by family members, spouses, mates, friends, and
coworkers. It is also a time that many of you have been let go…from jobs, from relationships,
from business deals, and from other engagements that you thought would exist
for an extended period of time.
Being let down and being let go is a very
difficult experience, no matter what time of the year they occur. The impact
of these experiences can be GREAT, and in some cases GRAVE!
Along with the unexpected let downs
and the lack of preparedness associated with being let go comes many unpleasant
emotions.
Being let down and let go not only affects
you emotionally, but also psychologically, physically, spiritually, socially,
and economically. You will probably experience feelings of rejection,
isolation, betrayal, confusion, anger, sadness, despair, depression,
loneliness, hopelessness, disappointment, stress, anxiety, suicidal thoughts,
and homicidal thoughts. Although these feelings can occur any time you
experience being let down or let go, the holiday season tends to exacerbate
these emotions.
Having these emotions is not the major
issue; it’s what you do with them that will make the difference. With
assistance from family, friends, and mental health professionals, you can learn
to manage your emotions and move forward. You must remember; just as the
holiday season passes, whatever is taking place in your life will also pass. It
is imperative that you do not make long-term decisions over short-term problems.
But then you have to ask yourself, ‘was I
wearing blinders or rose-colored glasses and couldn’t see or did I not want to
see the let down or the let go coming?’
Too often, when others betray you, reject you, or unfairly dismiss you,
the first place you tend to go is to blame yourself. And too often, you try to
put your foot in your own behind, blaming yourself for the let down or the let
go you experienced.
Ask yourself if you would’ve been
prepared for the let down or the let go whenever it took place. Would January,
March, May, or any other months have made the acts of rejection and betrayal
more palatable for you? The reality is that pain and disappointment are the
same, whenever they occur. Because we have been socialized to expect wonderful
things and grand acts of kindness to take place during the Christmas holiday
season, we find ourselves devastated when the opposite occurs.
Isn’t it amazing that your mate decided
to dump you during the holidays? Guess what? He/she probably wanted to dump you
all along! The holidays seem to be the right time to do so. It means one less
gift for him/her to purchase. And he/she seemed to use the holiday season as
the reason to dump you and hide amidst the hustle and bustle of the season. You
might be better off being dumped! You get to end your year free and start your
new year free.
The boss who let you go…he/she, like your mate,
hid behind the merriness of the season to fire you and tie up loose ends before
the New Year arrives. The overall message is, he/she doesn’t want to take you
into the New Year, in an effort to cut losses.’ In all actuality, this seeming
setback can be a setup for you to move up! Sometimes, doors that need to be
open will remain closed, until the doors that need to be closed are closed.
I know it seems heartless and
compassionless to have someone to trample on your emotions, impact and
sometimes destroy your earning capacity, while many times inhibiting and/or
prohibiting your ability to move forward; especially during the holiday season.
And it is probably just as heartless and compassionless as you believe! But in
some cases, you must evaluate your options. If there is something to be done to
cure the let down or the let go you have experienced, as well as the process
and outcome of the experience, then fighting back will be an asset rather than
a liability. By all means, get up and fight! What do you have to lose?! After
all, “Being let down & being let go
during the holidays does not mean giving up.”
As the holiday season comes, it will go.
So, too, will your pain, disappointment, disgrace, and other negative emotions
associated with the seemingly callous act put forth against you. The reality
is, just because you have been let down, knocked down, or let go, it doesn’t
mean you have to lie down or stay down. You can get back up! What seems to be a
door closing on you and on your future can become an opportunity for many great
doors to open for you and in front of you. You can get back up and you can once
again look up!
Here are some pointers in helping you to handle
being let down or let go, not only during the holiday season, but three hundred
and fifty days of the year.
1.
Recognize
that in life, there will always be let downs & you will be let go by someone or from
something. Don’t put your eggs in one basket. Relationships are not
guaranteed, and jobs and other agreements are not guaranteed forever. The
holiday season does not bring an exception to the rule!
2.
Recognize
that sometimes the decisions made by others have nothing to do with you. The person who lets you down or lets
you go sometimes suffer from selfishness, engage in politics, and they have a need
for control, face insecurity, inadequacy, and fear. They many times project these
negative attributes on to others and seem to enjoy letting others down and
letting them go; all in the name of control.
3.
Assess
your role in the let down and the let go.
What could you have
done differently? Did you really have any control over the situation or the
outcome in the first place?
4.
Recognize
that what you view as a let down could actually be the set up you need in order for you to get up and move
up!
5.
Recognize
that being let go could be an opportunity for you to be set
free.
6.
Don’t
be afraid to own your feelings and confront them. Decide to get up out
of your bed of despair, desperation, and depression each and every day. Open
your blinds/curtains everyday when you arise, even if the sun is not shining on
the outside.
7.
Recognize
that YOU are in control of YOU! Don’t
wallow in your pain. Remember the reason for the season. Remember, just like
the holiday season, the let downs and the let go’s of life will also pass!
8.
Engage
with PPGP’s…Positive People Going Places.
See the holiday season as an opportunity for you to enlarge your territory,
meet new people, and to seize a chance to be introduced to new and greater
opportunities.
9.
Remember;
when the weight of the let down and being let go becomes too heavy for your
shoulders and too large for your heart…PUT THEM DOWN! TALK WITH SOMEONE; FOCUS ON THE
POSITIVE & NOT THE NEGATIVE. Start looking through your windshield of life,
which is much larger than the rear view mirror of your let down or you being
let go; even during the holidays
10. And if you can’t reach within yourself to
find the strength to go on and move on, seek the help of a professional.
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOU TO MAKE A LONG-TERM DECISION OVER A SHORT-TERM
PROBLEM! GET UP & MOVE UP!
©2015; J.Morley
Productions, Inc; P.O. Box 1745; Decatur, GA 30031; 770-808-6570; www.doctorjoyce.com
