It is interesting how many people would rather hear and accept a lie, rather than hear and accept the truth. Like you, most people don’t wan to hear the truth, let alone face the truth. To some, facing the truth is like undergoing a test. And you have determined in your mind, ‘if found out, life will be over for me.’ However, life can be over for you much sooner with a lie than with the truth. Uncovering the truth can and will uncover new and grand opportunities for you, setting you free to be you!
Yes, I know; sometimes the truth hurts. In the scheme of things, a lie hurts much worse than the truth. And guess what? You will eventually get over the hurt and the pain associated with the truth. However, lies are much more detrimental and devastating than the truth could ever be, and lies tend to live on forever. If you are like me, you have been lied on and lied to. I am sure you can remember the astonishment, the pain, the devastation, as well as the struggle and wasted time it took for the truth to be uncovered, in order to free you from a possible loss, scandal, embarrassment, or other emotional, financial, and economical devastations. Two of my major pet peeves are people who lie to me or lie on me! There is no reason for a lie; so why are you lying when you know the pain associated with lies?!
I know for many of you, life can become a daunting task at times. You seem to spend most of your days struggling with which side of the fence you will stand, whose side you should take in an argument, and whether to take a stand or stance for a cause; if you take a stand at all. Along with the aforementioned, you also probably struggle with whether you should stand for what you KNOW is right, or whether you should continue to sit idly by, accepting the wrongs in life, watching truth fly out the windows of your life, while allowing lies to become the norm, rather than the exception.
When you denounce the truth you allow others to pronounce and to promote who they want you to be and how they want you to be. If you are not able to live in and with the truth, allowing the measure of who you are to be determined by your yardstick, you will exist, based on the truths of others, which becomes your lie. As a matter of fact, your lies are your denial of the truth.
It is even more challenging for you to perpetrate a fraud each and every day, abandoning the real you, while accepting a pseudo you, just so that you can fit, where you really don’t belong anyhow, forcing yourself to live one continuous lie after another! Okay, I know it is difficult and painful to admit your role in the fiction you have created in your life, about your life, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t abandon the lies that have permeated your life and begin to live in truth…FOR REAL!
Lies are cousins to deceit, secrets, betrayal, denial, avoidance, and confusion. When you tell one lie, you must keep telling them in order to cover the lie you told before. And I am sure you have heard of pathological liars. These people tend to tell a lie each time they open their mouths. They lie for the sake of lying and don’t even know they are lying most of the time. Lies reign over truth and their every waking moment is some faction of a lie.
When you lie about your education, you must lie to get the job, and keep lying in order to maintain the job, always looking over your shoulders and behind your back. If you lie about your health status, especially related to STD’s, you will continue to deceive the woman or man who chooses to sleep with you, endangering their health and their life. When you lie about your marital status or sexuality, you increase the risk of the number of people hurt or killed. While truth is your freedom, lies are your emotional, psychological, physical, economical, and spiritual bondage!
My mother used to say, ‘a liar will cheat, a liar will steal, and a liar will kill in order to cover his/her lie.’ As long as you continue to live a life of lies, continue to walk in lies, speak lies, and accept the bondage associated with lies, you are a lie and you are perpetrating a fraud. This fraud begins to dictate the lies you tell about who you are, what you have, where you are, where you came from, what you have accomplished, and where you are going. As a matter of fact, the more you engage in perpetrating a fraud, the more you begin to believe that the lies you have been perpetrating are truths.
If you aren’t living truth, you are living a lie. It is incumbent upon you to decide if you want to continue down a path of untruths and fantasy, or are you willing to take the risk to face actualities, no matter how difficult or how painful. Many times you avoid facing and living in truth because your reality is too painful and you will have to view, see, and accept some things, some situations, and some people in a totally different light in which you have been accustomed.
As a matter of fact, once the truth is out, it moves in a straight line, eventually fading away, losing its relevancy. On the other hand, lies are spun like a spider’s web. Once you start telling them, you become entangled in them, and you weave others into your web of lies; whether they want to be a part of them or not. Unlike the truth, lies never die; they multiply! They have a domino effect, knocking down everyone and everything in its path.
A lie is a nothing more than a grandiose disguise of the truth of who you are, what you are, what you stand for, where you are, where you have been, and where you are going. A lie makes you invisible, because you have decided to hide from the truth.
Truth is freedom and freedom allows you to be you. Once you seek truth, see truth, accept truth, and begin to live in truth, you are free to make choices based on who you are and not based on who and what others want you to be. Your freedom through truth allows you to be human, to fall, to falter, and to fail. The freedom associated with truth also allows you to get back up without guilt, shame, or embarrassment, boldly pronouncing and announcing your strength, without denouncing who you are.
Although the truth might be painful when you have to face it, a lie is not only painful when you face it, but the impact and effects are greater even after you have faced it. A lie implies that you and others are not worthy. A lie also implies that everyone else is stupid but you, ‘I can say anything and you will believe it,’ and that ‘everyone plays a fool ALL the time.’ When you lie to or on someone, you are basically calling them an ‘ASS.’
Your engagement in perpetuating lies is often evidence of you looking on the outside to fix the inside, not recognizing that the truth you have been avoiding and many times the truth that you have been seeking for so long, exists within you, and not on the outside of you. Your lies are further indication of you running away from something or someone, and on some occasions, you running toward something or someone, desperately trying to find that piece of you that seems lost.
Your lies are also indication of you making attempts to deal with your brokenness. However, in all actuality, the lies in which you seek solace for your brokenness, pain, and lost state of being, often exacerbates the raw emotion for which you are trying to cover and escape. It is at this time that you can begin to weigh the benefits of how much better you will begin to feel, once again begin to breathe, find relief, and move forward in your life by seeking and confronting the truths needed to really heal and end your brokenness.
The problem with walking in truth and living in truth is you first must take the time to define truth. However, you cannot define truth based on your biases of the truth. The true definition of truth must be based on your life’s reality, as well as the reality around you and in which you exist. Further, when defining truth, it is important to decide whose truth is it? Is it the truth based on your reality, or truth based on someone else’s REALITY?
One thing you must remember, no matter how many lies you tell and no matter what measures you undertake to cover your lies, eventually, the he truth will be uncovered and truth reigns! There is no such thing as ‘a little white lie!’ A lie is a lie, is a lie, no matter who tells it, when it is told, where it is told, or how it is told, and lies should never be minimized.
Don’t dismay; you can and will recover from a lie and from being a liar. In order to recover, you must engage in a process of discovery or rediscovery. You must discover or rediscover who you are. Talk with family members and friends to unveil the truths you have evaded and buried deep within. Get with a mental health professional or life coach in order for you to begin to sort out, gain insight, and understanding as to your reasons for your lying, including who and what you were running away from or running to. You must also be willing to ask for forgiveness from those people you have hurt with your lies. However, the main person you have to forgive is yourself!
Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today…here is your opportunity to remove yourself from the clouds of lies, into the sunshine of TRUTH! It is time for you to abandon a life of lies and the bondage associated with it, as you embrace truth’s freedom, recognizing the gain associated with truth, instead of living in the pain associated with lies. No matter what happens, truth reigns!!