Friday, August 2, 2013

Don’t Hit the Snooze button…You Haven’t Arrived Yet!




As I listened to the disappointing verdict of “not guilty” a few weeks ago, which was rendered in favor of George Zimmerman, who was on trial for murdering unarmed, seventeen year-old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida, my mind was taken back to my childhood and teen years growing up in south Florida. My memories of the racism, segregation, and unfair treatment as an African-American growing up in Florida, began to infiltrate my thoughts, my emotions, and my spirit, that rainy Saturday night after the verdict was reached by only six jurors...all female, five whites, and one who considers herself a ‘black Hispanic.’  

I can vividly remember living on the ‘other side of the tracks’ while growing up in south Florida. As I listened to the verdict, my mind also reflected on the school buses that were filled with white children as they rolled past us, as we walked to school; and we were young children; having to make our way to school, by foot. The verdict brought back memories of the used and tattered schoolbooks that were passed down to us at the all black school after the white children no longer had use for them. And there is no wonder that I have never had the urge or the desire to return to the state of Florida to reside.

As I participated in one of the many rallies across the nation in protest of the unbelievable ‘not guilty’ verdict in the Trayvon Martin murder case, my mind again drifted back to the late sixties, when as a teen, I participated in a march and rally to take a stand against forced busing. I recalled the food that was thrown in my face, and my picture being on the front page of the Hollywood Sun Tattler newspaper. And here we are, decades later, living in a country that is still not integrated; a country that for the most part, still engages in unequal treatment of people of color, and the poor and disenfranchised.

Somehow, we have forgotten to remember the struggle, the lives lost, and the strides made in this country to eradicate racism, mistreatment, and maltreatment of those who do not fit the American status quo. Sadly to say, the history of discrimination is not just being repeated in this country; it never stopped! The problems involving race relations have existed since the invasion of this country by Columbus and his men hundreds of years ago. 

It is evident by the presence of black, white, and brown people across the nation who participated in the marches and rallies, as well as the cries of outrage by the American people for justice, that an injustice was not only committed by the murder of Trayvon Martin, but that a further injustice occurred when the imbalanced jury rendered its ‘not guilty’ verdict. The alarm has been sounding for sometime, but we keep pressing the snooze button.

Why are we still stuck in this place of the privileged few?  How did we allow the voting rights amendment to be repealed?  How is it that there are still so many Americans who are filled with hatred and intolerance for people who are different from them? How do we sleep and snore as the rights afforded all people through the Civil Rights Movements of the sixties slowly die? Somehow, we seem to forget on whose backs this country was built!!! We have become so caught up with the material gains of the big houses, the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the political games of our nation, that we seem confused as to what is important! As in the words of Malcolm X, we have been bamboozled and thrown amuck! As many of us have fought to live the American dream; too many more have wound up living an American nightmare! As African-Americans, too many of have fallen asleep, forgetting those who heroically died to ensure that the dream is realized and that freedom and justice holds true for ALL Americans, and not just for the privileged few!!

“…With Liberty and Justice for All?”  Here it is, 2013, and neither liberty nor justice is made available to and for ALL citizens of the United States of America. Even in the grave, there doesn’t seem to be justice for Trayvon Martin, a seventeen year-old unarmed African-American male who was gunned down, without cause. It is sad that Trayvon had to pay the ultimate price for the race relations alarm to sound in America. He paid with his life!!!

For too many Americans, a lack of regard and a lack of respect for black and brown people seem to exist. Although they are important, the lives of animals seem to be worth more than the lives of people of color. Michael Vick, an African-American pro football player was stripped of his football career, jailed, humiliated, and still wears a scarlet letter on his chest for dog cruelty. But George Zimmerman, a white man, was able to (as juror B-29 stated), ‘get away with the murder’ of an unarmed African-American teenager, based on a “stand your ground” law, which was seemingly created to keep the status quo of the have’s and have’s not’s, and the privileged few. 

And then there is Marissa Alexander, a black woman who was sentenced to twenty years in prison in the state of Florida for defending herself against an abusive husband. She shot into the air, and not into the body of a human being.  However, Florida’s “stand your ground” law did not stand for her! We can also remember the groom, Sean Bell, who was shot sixteen times in a hail of fifty bullets, propelled into his vehicle, the nigh before his wedding in NYC. Like Trayvon, Marissa, and too many others to name, ‘stand your ground’ has not been an option for people of color like Sean; but it has been for the privileged few. These victims were denied the opportunity to ‘stand their ground’ in situations that not only brought fear to and for their loves, but in many cases, ended lives. Something is disturbingly wrong with these inequities!!

When will America come to recognize as Marcus Garvey once stated, ‘hurt the nose, the eye cries?’ When an innocent unarmed child is murdered, it hurts us all…no matter what color. We must remember that the face of death has no color! We would like to believe that people of color have arrived. But, until everyone has arrived, none of us have arrived.

I can only imagine the pain and heartache that Trayvon’s mother, father, brother, friends, and other family members have carried during the past seventeen months. In the midst of their loss and pain, Trayvon’s parents have ironically been able to use their losses as stepping-stones, instead of stumbling blocks.  They have been able to show love, instead of hatred. They have managed to take a stand not only for justice for Trayvon, but justice for all children, especially children of color.

Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated, ‘when a fire is raging, the emergency vehicle moves at great speed, running through every red light in order to get to the emergency.’  America, we must realize that we have a fire that has been raging in this country for as long as I can remember, and hundreds of years before my birth. This raging fire is based on color, breeding racism, hatred, ignorance, bigotry, fear, and discrimination, which has gone on far too long.

It is past time for the citizens of the greatest country on earth to STAND ITS GROUND against racism hatred, ignorance, bigotry, fear, and discrimination. Either you stand for something or you will fall for anything. Juror B-29, who was one of the six to render the ‘not guilty’ verdict in the George Zimmerman murder case, relinquished her opportunity to ‘stand her ground’ for truth, for justice, for Trayvon, as well as all other black and brown boys in America!

When will America move past making everything from jobs, housing, money, education, TV, radio, beauty, freedom, etc. be about black and white, and focus on doing what’s right?  When and only when each of us decides to get our heads out of the sand, STAND OUR GROUND, speak up, speak out, and not only deal with our own issues surrounding differences; when we begin to practice tolerance and stop playing games of intolerance, we will begin to put out the raging fire that has divided this country from its inception.

Yes, the murder of Trayvon Martin and the ensuing murder trial of George Zimmerman not only alerted us to the realities of the fire that has been raging in this country for over five hundred years, the alarms were sounded loud and clear!  And yes, the sound of the alarm was quite revolting and shocking; but it is imperative that we no longer go under ground in dealing with the racism that divides us, and that we no longer push the snooze button on the alarm. We must form coalitions within our homes, and within our neighborhoods to move at great speed, running through every red light, until we can guarantee that no more unarmed black boys who are where they are supposed to be, on their way home from the store, with a pack of Skittles, and a can of ice tea, will be cut down like bamboo shoots!

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated, ‘until justice rolls down like mighty waters,’ until ‘stand your ground’ laws are repealed, until gun control laws are enacted, until the lives of African-American males are valued, until education becomes a priority and not an option, until we build more schools than jails, until we stand for truth, until we stop pressing the snooze button on racism in America, we will remain hostages to our own fears and inner hatred of people different from us.

I challenge you today, to ‘STANDYOUR GROUND!!’ Take your hands off the snooze button and answer the call to stamp out injustices, unfair treatment, unjust laws, and instead of focusing on black and white…focus on what’s RIGHT!!!!  Until all of us have arrived, YOU have not arrived!  Answer the alarm!!!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Stop Hating Based on Who You See & What You Think You Know!




In the words of the late great prophetic songwriter and singer Marvin Gaye, “believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.” When will we stop judging people and stop determining their value and their worth, based on what we see when we look at them, including the color of their skin (race), where they live, where they work, what they drive, what they wear, who they are connected to (class), their gender (sex/sexual orientation), and their youth or time etched on their faces (age)?

It might seem hard to believe that in the year 2013, people are still being treated less than human; they are hated, mistreated, and maltreated, based on the color of their skin, who they are, what they have or don’t have, who they know or don’t know, as well as where they live.  But, unless you are one of the people who has been on the end of the hate spectrum, it would be difficult for you to understand their walk and their trials, all because they were made different.  Just imagine if everyone looked like you or acted like you; what a boring world this would be!

And because there are differences in people, for over several hundred years, there have been too many people who have taken advantage of others by discriminating against them, based on their differences. On too many occasions, not only do these perpetrators discriminate, they tend to denigrate, and keep others from getting ahead in life, all because of their race, class, sex/sexual orientation, or age.  Hence, Isms were born...racism, classism, sexism, and ageism. It is often perplexing to find that those who are in the habit of practicing Isms see nothing wrong with it, and cannot seem to understand why the victims of these Isms feel the way they feel, and act the way they act. Think about it; if you awoke everyday to find a target on your forehead, and others on your chest and your back, and a ton of hatred aimed at you, all because you are different; you would probably understand their feelings and their actins.

I know that for many, having to admit that there are major Isms infecting and affecting relationships within our country on a daily basis is quite difficult to accept. And there are many who would like to sweep them under the rug and pretend that they don’t exist. There is too much pain, shame and guilt associated with the Isms that have plagued our nation for so long. It seems easier to move through life, leaving cracks in the doors of life, rather than to talk openly and candidly about these Isms from the perspective of the victim. And if you are a perpetrator, you probably don’t want to hear it anyhow.  But until we talk about racism, classism, sexism, and ageism, and decide to confront them, they will continue to destroy the very fiber of our nation.

If you are looking for evidence of some of the current Isms staring us right in the face within this country, here are a few. The Trayvon Martin case, which involved the murder of an unarmed African-American teenager who was literally stalked by his white perpetrator after the perpetrator was told by legal authorities not to follow him. But, because Trayvon looked different—black, young, and wearing a hoodie, he was singled out and labeled as a threat.

Further, this case included the prosecutor’s so-called ‘prime witness,’ Rachel Jeantel, a nineteen year-old African-American female, who was not only miseducated by the educational system, but was improperly prepared for the trial by the prosecutor, and had racial jokes made about her on social media. The culturally inept and culturally insensitive defense attorney, who opened the murder trial with ‘knock-knock’ jokes, disrespected her during cross-examination.

Sadly, those who have never been the victim of any of the aforementioned Isms find it difficult to see the racism involved in this case. If the perpetrator was black and the teenager was white, would this case be handled in the same manner? Most people tend to avoid talking about and admitting the truth about racism for fear of admitting that they are not perfect.  Who is? If the shoe fits, it’s time to wear it and find a way to take it off for good as you confront your own Isms!

To talk about the Isms would involve talking about the truth. The truth is that we, as a nation, are still stuck in the throws of power, control, hatred, malice, disrespect, and the belief that there are majorities and minorities, and some who are not only privileged, but also entitled, at the expense of others.   There are still too many who believe that the haves and the have not’s should be identified based on race, class, sex, and age. Although this is their truth, they are hampered from seeing and hearing the truth of those who are directly affected by these Isms.

Take a look at the racism and classism played out in the Paula Deen case, which unveiled a continuous disrespect and disregard for others in her employment. She used the ‘n’ word and other power tactics to keep her foot on the heads of others, all because they were different. Because of her race and her class, Ms. Deen began to believe that she had a free ticket to berate others, based on their race and their class.

A classic case of sexism played out in front of our eyes. It involved Texas State Senator Wendy Davis and the disrespectful attacks by Governor Rick Perry. Because of his position of power and his sex, Governor Perry believed he could use his words to not only disrespect, but to also disregard the accomplishments of Senator Davis and publicly humiliate her as a female who struggled as a single parent hood in order to become a State Senator.

There are many who still believe that one’s gender (sex and/or sexual orientation) should determine the value, the worth, as well as one’s lot in life. Come on; it’s 2013! When do we stop discriminating against others and stop excluding others from opportunities because of their race, class, se/sexual orientation, and/or age? For the victims who experience Isms on a daily basis, their idea of the American dream has become their American nightmare.  It is time to take a stand and fight the Isms, particularly racism, classism, sexism, and ageism. Either you stand for something or you will fall for anything!

It is past time for us as Americans to take a panoramic and realistic view of the Isms within our own lives, especially racism, classism, sexism, and ageism. These Isms not only impact those you choose to disrespect, ignore, exclude from opportunities, and not include in your realm of reality; they impact future generations and our nation as a whole. The first step of healing and moving forward is to admit that there is a problem; then to admit your role in the problem.

It is time to recognize that without love for each other, hatred and discrimination will continue. We can begin to love others when we feel comfortable with loving ourselves.  If you respect yourself, love yourself, and accept yourself, it makes it a lot easier to respect others, love others, accept others, and allow others to be themselves.  Confront your fears of insecurity about who you are, and you will be able to move forward on the path to healing and accepting others for who they are. It is also important to recognize that what belongs to you belongs to you. You don’t have to fear that differences will allow others to encroach upon what you have. There is enough of everything for everyone!!!

Marcus Garvey once stated, ‘hurt the nose and the eyes cry.’ Hopefully, one day each of us will come to recognize that every time you engage in the practice of Isms, you not only hurt others; you hurt yourself, your children, and the world in which you live. None of us is as great as all of us!

Who have you discriminated against or do you continue to discriminate against, minimize or berate (knowingly or unknowingly) in an effort to elevate yourself while deflating others?  The only time you should look down on anyone is when and if you are helping him or her up!

I challenge you today to become culturally competent; to stop perpetrating that you respect and accept people who are different from you, based on their race, their class, their sex, or their age.  Just because you THINK you KNOW someone in these areas who is different from you because they work with you, or who has been to your home, does not mean you are Ism free! I further challenge you to rid yourself of hatred and take on the armor of love for all people, no matter what race, what class, what sex, or what age; this is what God created us to do! 

Recognize that you are either a part of the problem or a part of the solution. Which do you choose today?!


·      RACISM:  The belief that race is the primary determinant of human capacity… especially the race of the person who holds the belief.

·      CLASSISM: The belief that the economic/social status/class of the person who holds the belief is the primary determinant of human capacity.

·      SEXISM: The belief that the sex/sexual orientation of the person who holds the belief is the primary determinant of human capacity.

·      AGEISM: The belief that the age of the person who holds the belief is the primary determinant of human capacity. This could apply to the young as well as the elderly. 

Saturday, June 1, 2013

A Celebrated Father!


Thanks to Sonora Louise Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, we have observed and celebrated Father’s Day in the United States on the third Sunday of June since 1910.  Unlike Mother’s Day, Father’s Day took some time to be fully recognized and accepted.

Although men provide the sperm necessary to fertilize the eggs women carry in order to formulate one of God’s greatest creations—children, their day of celebration is not revered as strongly as Mother’s Day. And many might pose the age-old question…why??  We can most certainly assume many reasons for the discrepancies in the treatment and the celebration of fathers, compared to Mothers.

Mothers carry their children for nine months (on most occasions), they provide the pains of labor, and are generally the primary caretakers of their children during their formative years, and beyond. This intense and emotional involvement between mother and child provides a connection and a bond that fathers cannot rival.  And because of the roles we tend to slot women and men into, it is expected that women will mother their children and form nurturing relationships, while men are expected to ‘head the house,’ assume the role of ‘bread winner,’ and leave the emotional and spiritual guidance of their children to mothers.

These often skewed and misrepresented beliefs about the roles of mothers and fathers in the lives of their children many times handicap fathers in their God-given abilities to display emotions with their children. They also prohibit fathers from experiencing their human side, and sharing it with their children.  As a result, we have experienced generation after generation of children either growing up with fathers who are emotionally absent, physically absent, or totally unknown to their children (for one reason or another).  But, whatever the case, every child is created with the help of a man…the man called father.

Many fathers are given a bad reputation based on their seeming unavailability in the lives of their children. They are often ascribed negative labels when they are not there for their children—emotionally, physically, and financially. Some of these labels range from being called, “sperm donors,” “dead beat dads,” etc. Sadly, seventy percent of African-American households are headed by single mothers; there is no father present.  Whatever the reason, there are too many children without fathers; and there are too many GREAT men who are not with their children!   

According to a Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics 2012 report, 18.9% of fathers who are unemployed are caring for their children without a partner in the home.  Further, 81.6% of employed fathers are in households with mothers.  And what about the ‘house husbands?’ These are men who for one reason or another, have opted to stay home with their children, reversing the stereotypical roles of fathers. There are even many more men who, through death or divorce, have taken on the role of primary caretakers for their children.

Then there are those fathers who desperately want to be with their children; to parent them, guide them, to play a major role in their children’s lives, and above all, to love them unconditionally. But, for many fathers, circumstances foreseen or unforeseen have rendered them incapable of doing so or unable to do so.  Nonetheless, to those fathers who have weathered the storm and beat the odds to not only father children, but to play an integral role in the lives of their children, we take our hats off to you. Are they doing anything spectacular? Not necessarily...this is just what GREAT fathers do!

Fathers are not perfect! As a matter-of-fact, who is?!?!  Let’s celebrate fatherhood and the men who have stepped up to the plate and continue to step up to the plate in the lives of their children.  It is incumbent upon each of us to remind fathers that we expect no less of them as fathers than we do of mothers.  As you embark upon the occasion to celebrate Father’s Day, here is your opportunity to celebrate the man who was instrumental in your existence as a human being…your father.

Whether your father played a major role in your life or not, you cannot deny the fact that he contributed to your life in a major way. HE HELPED TO CREATE YOU! And, it is acknowledged that there are many of you who don’t know who your biological father is; you’ve never met your biological father; you know who your father is, but either you could not or did not claim him (or vice versa); or you are estranged from your father for one reason or another. Either way, Father’s Day is the time for you to celebrate the man who assumed the role of father in your life.

Here is your opportunity to pay homage to the man who has shown you love, guided you, spent quality time with you, didn’t give up on you during tough times, and has been a shoulder to lean on.  This man doesn’t have to be your biological father; but if he has shown you the qualities of a father, he is worth celebrating. You might know him as dad, granddad, uncle, an older brother, a trusted male neighbor, a male family friend, or a male mentor; take the time to thank him and celebrate him!!

It is also important to recognize that there are many fathers who have not only stepped up to the plate when it came to their biological children; they stood by the plate, as well as on the plate with and for their biological children and non-biological children. It is time to recognize these AWESOME men for the wonderful job they have done and/or continue to do as fathers!

If you are not sure as to whether the man who has assumed the role of father in your life deserves celebrating or not, consider the characteristics below of Fathers Who Step Up to the Plate.”

A Celebrated fathers who “Step Up to the Plate”:
·      Acknowledges his children
·      Is responsible and accountable for his children
·      Loves his children unconditionally
·      Spends quality time with his children
·      Prioritizes his children
·      Is not afraid to be human
·      Is willing to recognize and admit that he is powerless; there is a power greater than hi,
·      Is willing to admit it isn’t all about him; it’s about his children
·      Is willing to set a strong foundation for his children
·      Is a role model for his children and others
·      Is a positive example for his children; sons and daughters
·      Strives to go from good to BEST as a man and a father
·      Are not normal, but EXTRAORDINARY in their role as father
·      Takes a stand for and with his children
·      Sacrifices for his children
·      Recognizes that he has a moral and spiritual responsibility to his children
·      Recognizes that his relationship with his children entails more than money
·      Is willing to forgive himself and others for the role he played or didn’t play in the lives of his children
·      Is willing to apologize to and ask his children for forgiveness for the role he played or didn’t play in the lives of his children
·      Is willing to start where he is to have a healthy relationship with his children
·      Is willing to listen and learn
·      Is not willing to avoid his child support responsibilities
·      Takes precautions to not continue to make children he cannot take care of
·      Shows his children that the greatest love he can show them is the love he has for their mother…no matter what the situation or relationship
·      Respects himself, his children, and their mother
·      NOT ONLY STEPS UP TO THE PLATE; HE STANDS ON THE PLATE FOR HIS CHILDREN!!!!!!!