Thanks
to Sonora Louise Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, we have observed and
celebrated Father’s Day in the United States on the third Sunday of June since
1910. Unlike Mother’s Day, Father’s Day
took some time to be fully recognized and accepted.
Although
men provide the sperm necessary to fertilize the eggs women carry in order to
formulate one of God’s greatest creations—children, their day of celebration is
not revered as strongly as Mother’s Day. And many might pose the age-old
question…why?? We can most certainly
assume many reasons for the discrepancies in the treatment and the celebration
of fathers, compared to Mothers.
Mothers
carry their children for nine months (on most occasions), they provide the
pains of labor, and are generally the primary caretakers of their children
during their formative years, and beyond. This intense and emotional
involvement between mother and child provides a connection and a bond that
fathers cannot rival. And because of the
roles we tend to slot women and men into, it is expected that women will mother
their children and form nurturing relationships, while men are expected to
‘head the house,’ assume the role of ‘bread winner,’ and leave the emotional
and spiritual guidance of their children to mothers.
These
often skewed and misrepresented beliefs about the roles of mothers and fathers
in the lives of their children many times handicap fathers in their God-given
abilities to display emotions with their children. They also prohibit fathers from
experiencing their human side, and sharing it with their children. As a result, we have experienced generation
after generation of children either growing up with fathers who are emotionally
absent, physically absent, or totally unknown to their children (for one reason
or another). But, whatever the case,
every child is created with the help of a man…the man called father.
Many
fathers are given a bad reputation based on their seeming unavailability in the
lives of their children. They are often ascribed negative labels when they are
not there for their children—emotionally, physically, and financially. Some of
these labels range from being called, “sperm donors,” “dead beat dads,” etc. Sadly,
seventy percent of African-American households are headed by single mothers;
there is no father present. Whatever the
reason, there are too many children without fathers; and there are too many
GREAT men who are not with their children!
According
to a Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics 2012 report, 18.9% of
fathers who are unemployed are caring for their children without a partner in
the home. Further, 81.6% of employed
fathers are in households with mothers.
And what about the ‘house husbands?’ These are men who for one reason or
another, have opted to stay home with their children, reversing the
stereotypical roles of fathers. There are even many more men who, through death
or divorce, have taken on the role of primary caretakers for their children.
Then
there are those fathers who desperately want to be with their children; to
parent them, guide them, to play a major role in their children’s lives, and
above all, to love them unconditionally. But, for many fathers, circumstances
foreseen or unforeseen have rendered them incapable of doing so or unable to do
so. Nonetheless, to those fathers who
have weathered the storm and beat the odds to not only father children, but to
play an integral role in the lives of their children, we take our hats off to
you. Are they doing anything spectacular? Not necessarily...this is just what
GREAT fathers do!
Fathers
are not perfect! As a matter-of-fact, who is?!?! Let’s celebrate fatherhood and the men who have
stepped up to the plate and continue to step up to the plate in the lives of
their children. It is incumbent upon
each of us to remind fathers that we expect no less of them as fathers than we
do of mothers. As you embark upon the
occasion to celebrate Father’s Day, here is your opportunity to celebrate the
man who was instrumental in your existence as a human being…your father.
Whether
your father played a major role in your life or not, you cannot deny the fact
that he contributed to your life in a major way. HE HELPED TO CREATE YOU! And,
it is acknowledged that there are many of you who don’t know who your
biological father is; you’ve never met your biological father; you know who
your father is, but either you could not or did not claim him (or vice versa);
or you are estranged from your father for one reason or another. Either way,
Father’s Day is the time for you to celebrate the man who assumed the role of
father in your life.
Here
is your opportunity to pay homage to the man who has shown you love, guided
you, spent quality time with you, didn’t give up on you during tough times, and
has been a shoulder to lean on. This man
doesn’t have to be your biological father; but if he has shown you the
qualities of a father, he is worth celebrating. You might know him as dad,
granddad, uncle, an older brother, a trusted male neighbor, a male family
friend, or a male mentor; take the time to thank him and celebrate him!!
It
is also important to recognize that there are many fathers who have not only
stepped up to the plate when it came to their biological children; they stood
by the plate, as well as on the plate with and for their biological children
and non-biological children. It is time to recognize these AWESOME men for the
wonderful job they have done and/or continue to do as fathers!
If
you are not sure as to whether the man who has assumed the role of father in
your life deserves celebrating or not, consider the characteristics below of Fathers Who Step Up to the Plate.”
A Celebrated fathers who
“Step Up to the Plate”:
· Acknowledges his children
· Is responsible and accountable for his children
· Loves his children unconditionally
· Spends quality time with his children
· Prioritizes his children
· Is not afraid to be human
· Is willing to recognize and admit that he is powerless;
there is a power greater than hi,
· Is willing to admit it isn’t all about him; it’s about his
children
· Is willing to set a strong foundation for his children
· Is a role model for his children and others
· Is a positive example for his children; sons and daughters
· Strives to go from good to BEST as a man and a father
· Are not normal, but EXTRAORDINARY in their role as father
· Takes a stand for and with his children
· Sacrifices for his children
· Recognizes that he has a moral and spiritual responsibility
to his children
· Recognizes that his relationship with his children entails
more than money
· Is willing to forgive himself and others for the role he
played or didn’t play in the lives of his children
· Is willing to apologize to and ask his children for
forgiveness for the role he played or didn’t play in the lives of his children
· Is willing to start where he is to have a healthy
relationship with his children
· Is willing to listen and learn
· Is not willing to avoid his child support responsibilities
· Takes precautions to not continue to make children he cannot
take care of
· Shows his children that the greatest love he can show them
is the love he has for their mother…no matter what the situation or relationship
· Respects himself, his children, and their mother
· NOT ONLY STEPS UP TO THE PLATE; HE STANDS ON THE PLATE FOR
HIS CHILDREN!!!!!!!
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