It is interesting how many people would
rather hear and accept a lie, rather than hear and accept the truth. Like
you, most people don’t wan to hear the truth, let alone face the truth. To
some, facing the truth is like undergoing a test. And you have determined in
your mind, ‘if found out, life will be over for me.’ However, life can be over
for you much sooner with a lie than with the truth. Uncovering the truth can
and will uncover new and grand opportunities for you, setting you free to be
you!
Yes, I know; sometimes the truth hurts. In the scheme of
things, a lie hurts much worse than the truth. And guess what? You will
eventually get over the hurt and the pain associated with the truth. However,
lies are much more detrimental and devastating than the truth could ever be,
and lies tend to live on forever. If you are like me, you have been lied on and
lied to. I am sure you can remember the astonishment, the pain, the devastation,
as well as the struggle and wasted time it took for the truth to be uncovered,
in order to free you from a possible loss, scandal, embarrassment, or other
emotional, financial, and economical devastations. Two of my major pet peeves
are people who lie to me or lie on me! There is no reason for a lie; so why are
you lying when you know the pain associated with lies?!
I know for many of you, life can become a daunting task
at times. You seem to spend most of your days struggling with which side of the
fence you will stand, whose side you should take in an argument, and whether to
take a stand or stance for a cause; if you take a stand at all. Along with the
aforementioned, you also probably struggle with whether you should stand for
what you KNOW is right, or whether you should continue to sit idly by,
accepting the wrongs in life, watching truth fly out the windows of your life, while
allowing lies to become the norm, rather than the exception.
When you
denounce the truth you allow others to pronounce and to promote who they want
you to be and how they want you to be. If you are not able to live in and with
the truth, allowing the measure of who you are to be determined by your
yardstick, you will exist, based on the truths of others, which becomes your
lie. As a matter of fact, your lies are your denial of the truth.
It is even more challenging for you to perpetrate a fraud
each and every day, abandoning the real you, while accepting a pseudo you, just
so that you can fit, where you really don’t belong anyhow, forcing yourself to
live one continuous lie after another! Okay, I know it is difficult and painful
to admit your role in the fiction you have created in your life, about your
life, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t abandon the lies that have permeated
your life and begin to live in truth…FOR REAL!
Lies are cousins to deceit, secrets, betrayal, denial,
avoidance, and confusion. When you tell one lie, you must keep telling them in
order to cover the lie you told before. And I am sure you have heard of
pathological liars. These people tend to tell a lie each time they open their
mouths. They lie for the sake of lying and don’t even know they are lying most
of the time. Lies reign over truth and their every waking moment is some
faction of a lie.
When you lie about your education, you must lie to get
the job, and keep lying in order to maintain the job, always looking over your
shoulders and behind your back. If you lie about your health status, especially
related to STD’s, you will continue to deceive the woman or man who chooses to
sleep with you, endangering their health and their life. When you lie about
your marital status or sexuality, you increase the risk of the number of people
hurt or killed. While truth is your freedom, lies are your emotional,
psychological, physical, economical, and spiritual bondage!
My
mother used to say, ‘a liar will cheat, a liar will steal, and a liar will kill
in order to cover his/her lie.’ As long as you continue to live a life of lies,
continue to walk in lies, speak lies, and accept the bondage associated with
lies, you are a lie and you are perpetrating a fraud. This fraud begins to
dictate the lies you tell about who you are, what you have, where you are,
where you came from, what you have accomplished, and where you are going. As a
matter of fact, the more you engage in perpetrating a fraud, the more you begin
to believe that the lies you have been perpetrating are truths.
If you
aren’t living truth, you are living a lie. It is incumbent upon you to decide
if you want to continue down a path of untruths and fantasy, or are you willing
to take the risk to face actualities, no matter how difficult or how painful.
Many times you avoid facing and living in truth because your reality is too
painful and you will have to view, see, and accept some things, some
situations, and some people in a totally different light in which you have been
accustomed.
As a matter of fact, once the truth is out, it moves in a
straight line, eventually fading away, losing its relevancy. On the other hand,
lies are spun like a spider’s web. Once you start telling them, you become
entangled in them, and you weave others into your web of lies; whether they
want to be a part of them or not. Unlike the truth, lies never die; they
multiply! They have a domino effect, knocking down everyone and everything in
its path.
A lie is
a nothing more than a grandiose disguise of the truth of who you are, what you
are, what you stand for, where you are, where you have been, and where you are
going. A lie makes you invisible, because you have decided to hide from the
truth.
Truth is
freedom and freedom allows you to be you. Once you seek truth, see truth, accept
truth, and begin to live in truth, you are free to make choices based on who
you are and not based on who and what others want you to be. Your freedom
through truth allows you to be human, to fall, to falter, and to fail. The
freedom associated with truth also allows you to get back up without guilt,
shame, or embarrassment, boldly pronouncing and announcing your strength,
without denouncing who you are.
Although
the truth might be painful when you have to face it, a lie is not only painful
when you face it, but the impact and effects are greater even after you have
faced it. A lie implies that you and others are not worthy. A lie also implies
that everyone else is stupid but you, ‘I can say anything and you will believe
it,’ and that ‘everyone plays a fool ALL the time.’ When you lie to or on
someone, you are basically calling them an ‘ASS.’
Your
engagement in perpetuating lies is often evidence of you looking on the outside
to fix the inside, not recognizing that the truth you have been avoiding and
many times the truth that you have been seeking for so long, exists within you,
and not on the outside of you. Your lies are further indication of you running
away from something or someone, and on some occasions, you running toward
something or someone, desperately trying to find that piece of you that seems
lost.
Your
lies are also indication of you making attempts to deal with your brokenness.
However, in all actuality, the lies in which you seek solace for your
brokenness, pain, and lost state of being, often exacerbates the raw emotion
for which you are trying to cover and escape. It is at this time that you can
begin to weigh the benefits of how much better you will begin to feel, once
again begin to breathe, find relief, and move forward in your life by seeking
and confronting the truths needed to really heal and end your brokenness.
The
problem with walking in truth and living in truth is you first must take the
time to define truth. However, you cannot define truth based on your biases of
the truth. The true definition of truth must be based on your life’s reality,
as well as the reality around you and in which you exist. Further, when
defining truth, it is important to decide whose truth is it? Is it the truth
based on your reality, or truth based on someone else’s REALITY?
One
thing you must remember, no matter how many lies you tell and no matter what
measures you undertake to cover your lies, eventually, the he truth will be
uncovered and truth reigns! There is no such thing as ‘a little white lie!’ A
lie is a lie, is a lie, no matter who tells it, when it is told, where it is
told, or how it is told, and lies should never be minimized.
Don’t
dismay; you can and will recover from a lie and from being a liar. In order to
recover, you must engage in a process of discovery or rediscovery. You must
discover or rediscover who you are. Talk with family members and friends to
unveil the truths you have evaded and buried deep within. Get with a mental
health professional or life coach in order for you to begin to sort out, gain
insight, and understanding as to your reasons for your lying, including who and
what you were running away from or running to. You must also be willing to ask
for forgiveness from those people you have hurt with your lies. However, the
main person you have to forgive is yourself!
Don’t put off for tomorrow
what you can do today…here is your opportunity to remove yourself from the
clouds of lies, into the sunshine of TRUTH! It is time for you to abandon a life of lies
and the bondage associated with it, as you embrace truth’s freedom, recognizing
the gain associated with truth, instead of living in the pain associated with
lies. No matter what happens, truth reigns!!
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