Real Love Does Not Include Secrets and Lies!

If you start your relationships with secrets, secrets then become lies. Secrets are basically glorified tombs of emotional, physical, and spiritual forms of imprisonment. The lies you engage in or allow your mate to engage you in, serve to keep you and your mate both in a prisoned state within your relationship. Once you tell one lie, you must then tell another lie to cover the lie you initially told, in order for you to hide the secret you believed needed to be hidden; which was actually a truth you needed to face. Relationships full of secrets and lies cannot thrive, nor will they survive!

For every secret, there is an attached lie. Eventually, one of you will lose and one of you will win.   However, in all actuality, when secrets and lies are involved, both of you will eventually lose...one way or another.  If you start your relationships with honesty and openness, you will not only start out on the right foot, your relationships will continue in the right direction and on the right path…a path of thriving and surviving

It is important for you to recognize why you believe you must keep secrets and why the truth you are hiding has to be a secret. Who and what are you hiding from? What are you running away from? Relationships come and relationships go. However, if you want your relationships to not only come, but to also remain, you must recognize the importance of engaging in happy, positive, and healthy relationships from the onset. Happy, positive, and healthy relationships involve truth and honesty, from start to finish.

It is important to remember that the way you start your relationships will determine the direction as well as the destiny of your relationships. Happy, positive, and healthy relationships must start with you being honest and open with yourself, before you can expect to have happy, positive, and healthy relationships with others.

A ‘real’ relationship with ‘real’ love doesn’t have secrets and lies as it’s base; cheating is an exception and not an option; dishonesty is not the mantra of your relationship; secrets are only kept as surprises and expressions of love; sneaking around entails you wearing sneakers on your feet and not sneaking around on your mate; and hiding information is not acceptable. As a matter of fact, if these characteristics exist, you are not in a ‘real’ relationship, but a perpetrated situation!

Relationships that do not include secrets and lies are those that entail honest and open communication. These are the happy, positive, and healthy relationships. On the other hand, situations involve wallet and purse rifling, cell phone inspections, clothes and underwear sniffing, secrets and lies, as well as other wild and crazy behaviors. And if you aren’t yet in a relationship, be sure to avoid those situations that involve secrets and lies. You deserve better!

You must decide if you want to be in a situation or a relationship. A situation is a short-term convenience, whereas, a relationship is a long-term commitment. Situations are usually perpetrated forms of opportunity and many times involve secrets and lies. Either you choose a situation that encompasses no love at all, which is basically love without a heart, or you can choose a relationship that is filled with ‘real’ love…love that starts as Philia love, becoming Eros love. But before you can have Philia or Eros love with someone else, you must have Agape love, which is Godly love.

How Can You Have Real Love that Does Not Include Secrets and Lies?

1.     Love you first.  It is imperative that you have a relationship with yourself before you will be able to have a successful relationship with someone else.  If you have difficulty loving and accepting you, you will have difficulty loving and accepting someone else.  You will also have difficulty allowing someone else to love and accept you.

2.     Be yourself.  If you have to change who you are in order to be in a relationship, something is wrong.  The way you start a relationship is the way it will end.  There is nothing wrong with compromising, but you should not have to give up being you.

3.     Be specific about what you are looking for and expecting in a relationship.  Your needs and wants are imperative to a successful relationship.  If you are not sure as to what you are looking for in and individual, including your expectations, you will probably settle for anything and anyone.

4.     Get to know the person before entering into a relationship.  You need to know as much as you can about the person before entering into a relationship, including background information, sexual orientation, cultural values, family of origin issues, credit score, educational background, etc.

5.     Ensure that you and the person are reaching for the same goals and have the same vision.   Most relationships are not successful because the two parties are not on the same page and they are not going in the right direction.  You must have more than a couple of things in common, especially if you expect the relationship to last for a period of time.

6.     Be honest with yourself about your past, your present, and your future.  Take inventory of your life; where you have been, where you are, and where you are going. This process entails you forgiving yourself and letting go of your painful past, allowing you to no longer feel guilt.

7.     Engage in a personal oath to not hold secrets or engage in lies with yourself. If you stop holding imprisoning secrets that contain pain and stop lying to yourself about the secrets, it will be easy for you to not engage in relationships that cause you to hold secrets believe that you have to lie about them

8.     Free yourself to accept no one and nothing but the best. You have taken a realistic look at yourself, forgiven yourself, and you no longer have to engage in secrets and lies with yourself. Therefore, you will engage in relationships with persons who are compatible to and with you. You see yourself as the best…you will only seek and accept the best!

© 2015; J.Morley Productions, Inc.; P.O. Box 1745, Decatur, GA 30031; 770-808-6570; www.doctorjoyce.com

Moving Forward Without Looking Back: Living With Purpose & Intention in 2015

Isaiah 43: 18-19—Remember not the former things, neither consider the things of old. Behold, I can do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?

Here we are once again at the close of another year and the beginning of a new year. And as it was with all of the previous years of your life, you probably have people, things, situations, and circumstances that you would like to leave behind in 2014…out with the old and in with the new. The same holds true for some people, things, situations, and circumstances that you wish you could have brought into the New Year with you. As you embark upon the New Year and leave the old behind, there will be some memories, some regrets, some losses, and some joys that had to be left in the old year.

No matter what happened or did not happen for you or to you in 2014, as sure as you are living, you could not and did not bring the old year with you into 2015. And you most certainly cannot erase anything that you have regrets about or did not want to have happen to you or for you in 2014. It’s time for you to realize that your life has no pause button, no rewind button, and no fast forward button to remove you from your past ‘discomfort zones.’ As a matter of fact, your life plays on whether you are ready or not!

Your life constantly remains on PLAY! Whether you are read or not, YOU ARE NOW A MEMBER OF 2015! Also, whether you were ready to move into the New Year or not, you didn’t have a choice in the matter; you are now present in 2015! You must decide to move forward...staying in the old is not an option! It is time for you to move out of your own way and allow your life to move forward. In many ways, you have been the greatest block in you moving forward in life, all because you have constantly looked back.

You will not become a butterfly until you are willing to move beyond your caterpillar state. You will not soar like an eagle as long as you continue to think like a chicken and hold your head to the ground, looking for and pecking at what’s dead.  As a matter of fact, you will not be able to behold the greater reward that awaits you in 2015, as long as you hold onto your caterpillar or chicken state of 2014, or those of previous years past. Likewise, as long as you keep looking back, you will have difficulty moving forward. At some point, you must begin to live your life with purpose and intention. Like the eagle, the higher you soar, the greater your climb, the grater your vision, and the greater your reach. Like the eagle, you must take aim ad target your destination.

In order for you to move forward in 2015 without looking back, while living your life with purpose and intention, you must first come to realize and recognize your own power within, as well as the power outside and around you. Your power is defined as your ability to DO something or ACT in a particular way. Your power is your might, your strength, and your potency; it is your authority to actuate your desires. Your power is also your recognition and utilization of your spiritual self, which is aligned with your gifts and sense of discernment.

So many of you struggle through life and with life, trying to understand your purpose in and for life. Be aware that with your birth came your purpose for life and in life. As a matter of fact, your purpose was a part of your very conception. Along with your struggle to understand your purpose, you also struggle for answers to questions such as, ‘Who am I?’ ‘Why am I here?’ ‘What am I supposed to do/accomplish during and in my life while I am here?’ When things in your life go wrong, the quest for answers to these questions are heightened and become more paramount. In order for you to understand your purpose, you must come to understand that your life is not just any journey; it is a spiritual journey.

When you acknowledge your power, accept your spirit, listen to your spirit, allow your spirit to lead and guide you, and follow your spirit, your power becomes more pronounced. Your spirit will also help you to understand your purpose. Your purpose is not only inside of you, it is right in front of you. However, you must stop looking through the rearview mirror of your life and focus on the windshield of your life in order to behold your purpose. The rearview mirror encompasses your past, while your windshield of life not only encompasses your present; it is large enough for you to behold your future, with an unobstructed and clear view.

When you decide to stop dwelling in an on your past mistakes, past atrocities, pat mishaps, and past failures, you will become free within and free without…free enough to move forward without looking back. In 2015, it is time for you to walk in your purpose with intention; intention to embrace your happiness within; intention to embrace your inner sanctuary and spiritual power; intention to be successful; intention to laugh; intention to no longer put up with crap; intention to no longer allow anyone to take up space in your head or your heart rent-free; intention to weed out the joy stranglers and dream killers in your life; intention to weed out the haters in your life; intention to no longer live with regrets; intention to assume the place already designated for you by God, and intention to live your life to its fullest…INTENTIONALLY!!!

And what do I mean by living with intention you might ask? Simply put, living with intention means that you will live to fulfill your life’s purpose. You will align yourself with spirit. You will seek to recognize your destiny and destination in life. As a matter of fact, you will have a PLAN; not a ‘pie-in-the-sky’ or ‘it’s in my head’ plan, but a written plan of action with goals and objectives. Living with intention entails you weaving a tapestry of your life desires, your life direction, your life description, and your life aspirations, to include goals and objectives, all on paper.

When you decide to live your life intentionally in 2015, with spirit at the helm, you are finally deciding to acquiesce and live in your purpose, walk in your purpose, and live out your purpose, without hesitation, and without looking back. You will finally become the orchestrator, designator, designer, creative director, and producer of your life’s present and future state. You will no longer live your life based on the expectations and wishes of others, but based on the destiny that was scripted and carved within your DNA at conception.

Living intentionally means that you will love yourself and love life unconditionally, with all your heart and soul, without reservation, but with clarity and gratitude. It is having a passion for life and living life passionately. All of your living and learning will be based on a premise of passion. You will not only laugh intentionally, you will lift others intentionally, through unselfish and authentic efforts on a daily basis. In other words, you will not only be aware of what you do in life, when you do it, and who you do it with, you will have a cognitive, emotional, and spiritual connection to and with what, when, and whomever you become involved.

Moving forward without looking back as you live your purpose intentionally in 2015 is a mindset. It takes courage on your part to step away from the usual and engage in the unusual, as you walk in your own shadow and out of the shadows of others who are not you. Living intentionally also involves you taking risks, which entails you GAGGing yourself (GOING AGAINST THE GRAIN) with reason and reality…thinking outside the box, challenging and daring yourself to ascend to greater heights, but not at the expense of others, as you soar like an eagle.

Living your purpose in life intentionally means being true to yourself, accepting your values, your beliefs, and changing your attitude if necessary, in order for your full light to shine. It entails you not being selfish, but, in fact, paving the way for others to discover how to walk in and live in their purpose. It is erasing CAN’T from your vocabulary and your life, believing ‘I CAN,’ in the here & now!

As you move forward without looking back, you come to see that living your life with purpose and intention is a matter of choice. You can choose to keep looking back and continue a life full of wrecks, or look forward with purpose and intention, allowing you to see and prepare for the obstacles, detours, and other obstructions that might be ahead, while using your side view mirrors to keep you informed of the dangers around you.

Your spiritual life’s journey of living your purpose intentionally allows you to have a 24/7 panoramic view, no longer thinking limited thoughts or holding onto the small pictures of and in life, but seeing and beholding your present and your future with a BIG picture mindset. Here’s when you allow your mind, body, emotion, and spirit to unite as one.

With your inner and outer power, as well as your spirit to guide you as you live intentionally in 2015, you are free to begin to live with the end in mind, recognizing that all things must come to an end, including relationships or situations with some people, as well as many circumstance, and many things.  Hence, you are ready to let go, forgive, and move forward, without looking back. So what you fell, you faltered, or failed; neither of these attributes are your problems. The problem comes about when you fail to get up after your fall, after you falter, or after your failure, and you make no effort to recover from either of them or to move on while focusing on your life’s purpose and destiny.

The New Year of 2015 is the time for you to not only anticipate the next chapters of your life’s journey, but to activate the steps outlined in your life’s written action plan, fulfilling your life’s purpose with intense intentionality. This is the time for you to accept your failures and disappointments of the past year, recognizing that you had and have many blessings and accomplishments to also occur along the journey. You might have been wounded, but you were not defeated!!

Today, not tomorrow, is your time to exude purposeful and intentional commitment and focus, with positive optimism, patience, persistence, and resiliency. Here is your opportunity to finally accept your imperfections, recognizing that your weaknesses only serve to strengthen your positive characteristics, increasing your internal and external power and spirituality.

As you move forward in 2015 without looking back, here is your opportunity to be honest with yourself while operating in and with integrity and moral character, as you continue to recognize and respect the power greater than you, which is in you. You will recognize and accept the fact that you don’t need to do anything out of character…you are an instrument and not the source. Your inner power keeps you focused on the inner spirit, which is connected to the outer power greater than you…your source and your resource. Your power and spirit will keep you living and walking in your purpose, INTENTIONALLY!!

I challenge you TODAY to “Move Forward Without Looking Back,” as you to “Live with Purpose & intention in 2015.” Here’s how:

Focus on the seven (7) ‘P’s’ necessary for you to move forward in 2015

Purpose

• Change your negative attitude & negative mindset about life; especially your life
• List your greatest fears/concerns related to moving forward …personally &/or professionally
• Confront your fears by admitting that they exist
• Be willing to grow by changing your negative behaviors
• Be willing to move forward
• Find your inner and outer powers & capitalize on them
• Find your purpose in life through prayer & meditation & walk in it
• Trust and allow spirit to guide you

Plan

• Keep a personal & professional “Life Growth Journal,” in a spiral notebook & NOT on scraps of paper
• List (write) the five (5) top areas of your life that are in need of development (weaknesses)
• List (write) your five (5) greatest strengths & use them to overcome your weaknesses
• Document (write) five (5) personal  & five (5) professional goals & objectives that you can use to help you to live purposefully & intentionally in 2015
• Schedule time with a certified life coach

Post

• Your goals & objectives where you can see them, touch them, pray over them, affirm them, and claim them on a daily basis

Partner

• With someone you can trust and depend on to hold you accountable for “Moving Forward Without Looking Back,” as you “Live with Purpose & Intention in 2015”
• With a life coach and/or psychotherapist to help you to deal with stagnating issues and difficulties with letting go & moving forward

Purge

• Develop a recipe for you to use to engage in regular life cleansing & extraction processes that entail you removing negative people, situations, and circumstances that are no longer assets, but liabilities
• Your negative past & forgive yourself & others
• The infiltrators in your life who no longer fit in your life’s purpose
• Those people, situations, & circumstances that seem to be destructive rather than constructive

Position

• Yourself to align with “PPGP’s” (Positive People Going Places)
• For your breakthroughs

Pray

• In season & out of season
• For what you need & want
• Until something happens
• After things begin to happen & open up for you
• Without ceasing

Make everyday count & live everyday with intention, but not recklessly or at the expense of others

Don’t be afraid to LISTEN & GROW…to be YOU…INTENTIONALLY!!

©2015; J.Morley Productions, Inc., P.O. Box 1745, Decatur, GA 30031; 770-808-6570; www.doctorjoyce.com